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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

First Little Bit of Thought Inspired by my Grand Daughter

Well my Daughter and my Grand daughter have settled in at home and I have had a little time to reflect on this new stage of our lives. Sandi and I have been very blessed over the years and have many things to be thankful for recently. I have for the majority of my life been in touch with the only god of this world the God of the Bible and have been sort of a sideline type that always knew I should take more of a stand in this part of my life. As the time of Ava's birth came near I began a little soul searching and basic sizing up of my principals, beliefs and direction. The times we are a living are perhaps the most important in history and I have for a long while felt the gut tug of truths that my parents, and God, along with good and bad experiences have imprinted on my being.

I'm a bit older now and I feel it, a little bit physically but more than anything I feel it in how I think. More than ever living simple is what I desire. Having life smelted down to the essentials is what I want for myself and my family. We all have lived too good for too long and took a lot of it for granted. Now as the not so Glorious Leader of this country brings us bumbling along without the proper leadership, leadership that has dissipated in strength over several decades and now has accumulated in the present President I want to be sure I lead those that count on me to my best ability. I hope this bit of soul searching on my part will do two things. One, allow me to set in words my thoughts as sort of a personal point of reference for the future and Two, allow you something to meditate on as readers of this Blog. In the end I may just be writing this for myself cause I have no idea who really reads this or how often, I write what I write and post what I do as sort of a personal diary that I hope entertains some, speaks deeply to others that get what I am about and overall, now, it will be something for my Granddaughter that just arrived, hopefully those to come, as well as other Children that Sandi and I might be obliged to produce ourselves, who knows?

I raised my Daughter the way I wanted, close to me always, always being myself around her, good or bad and always giving her everything I could including as much time and love as I could, which was the easiest and what I could give the most of. I took her with me every where I went, meetings, parties, hunting, fishing, over seas, central America, Africa, the Caribbean, and she took it all in and made me very proud, many times. Now she's a Mom and married to a a wonderful man I genuinely love as a son, Parker. Parker came in to my field of vision as a question mark just as every other beau that my daughter gave a glance to. He proved out to be real, down to earth and my kind of man. Its not a wonder that God knew they should be together which brings me to another point that I need to reference for my own benefit. I worry too much about the things God has promised me he will take care of!
And that is basically EVERYTHING.

You know God, if you do know him that is, you know he gave us the Bible as a manual. I always say the things that are there are for our peace of mind and our benefit. This said, we all should start to practice a new respect for "Smelling the Roses" and that means for the most of you taking a whiff for the first time. Life is short! very short and I for one have lived a very good life, full of a lot of what I wanted and a little of what I didn't. My lifestyle came with a price, not a lot of security monetarily but an abundance of being secure that I had accomplished a lot of what I set out to do in my life especially along the lines of hunting, fishing and adventure.

I never gave a lot of thought to children as I roamed about before my daughter, but I always knew I would be a good Father as I hope my offspring will attest to. As I stood beside my first wife in the delivery room some 22 years ago and held her hand as the doctor removed my daughter from the womb, that little soul captured my attention and has held it ever since. I followed her and the nurse around the room as the nurse made sure she was good to go and I took her and brought her to my wife. That was one of those "Mile Stone" life events. Actually there was nothing to compare I thought till I stood outside the delivery room and with my ear tuned to the voices in my daughters room I stood then sat on the floor stood again and prayed for almost two hours listening to those faint brave sounds as that precious flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood struggled steadily along giving birth to another equally precious life. Mareth never complained, she stuck to her job and I could feel her struggles through the door as the baby came first turned face up then turned right by the Doctor then she turned back up again, listening to the strain in my daughters voice asking about her progress as she took each breath and prepared for the next effort. I heard the slight but brave humor from her as she became weaker and weaker with each try, but then the voice of the doctor, saying alright and the strong cry of Ava's voice for the first time seemingly roaring at the world of the living. This is what is real to me, life as it should be, the way it was created to be, "the blessed pleasure of what is natural, real and simple". It didn't take all the powerful Hitec communication devices, it didn't take the latest fashion look, it didn't take knowing all the right people, It didn't even take the right education or the expensive vehicle and house in the right neighborhood, not even the politically correct way of speaking. None of this could add to or take away from the explicit design of circumstances that God ordained for this baby to be born under, a perfect scenario of miraculous circumstances implemented by the Creator of All Life. So now
I am to dedicate myself to leading by example, for I have just realized, I'm the Old Man now! My great Grandfather, Grandfather and my Father are long gone, I'm the last of it, "so far". The old MacGregors from Scotland that I am from came here and changed the name to MacGehee then to McGee are drawing thin on this earth. I want to leave a little of me behind for those to come that hopefully will remember what I was about, what I treasured in my soul, what I thought was true, and how I lived especially the second half of my life, cause the First Half was a given, the Second Half you should know better. All this has been coming to the surface for some time and little Ava just came along just in time to hit the starter button. Hopefully we all can start to live a little more simply, for me I plan on living a great deal more simply. What's the most important thing in the World to you? I can tell you what should be up there at the top of your list, right up there with God, family and friends and Grand Children. Time, time is either your nemesis or your best friend, your choice, it will make our lives maddening or can make our lives rich with peace. You better sit up and take care of time. If you don't have it you you got nothing. How do you keep it, how do you have more of it? You go back to simple! You go back to the slow life, remember the slower you live the more time you have.

So now, I wait for any call that will bring me into the presence of a new life that is already precious to me. Ava has no idea of the engine she has put in motion, an engine I must make sure idles along slow cause I have begun getting geared up, looking for a good Fox or L C Smith 410 SxS for her, thinking about how old she will need to be to go to Africa with us. Looking for the proper outdoor, hunting, fishing, adventure books to buy for her library, hoping some of my old haunts survive the march of progress so I can take her there and show her my special places. I will have time for the waiting and watching, anticipating every move she makes, where she goes, what she does, how she thinks, and hoping that I get to influence her just a little, leave a little of me with her to carry on and share with her children. I understand now that if I don't do anything else right in my life I will do right by her, teaching her all I now about how to live simply and enjoy the time of her life!


Janelle said...

a moving and heartfelt post...i am not too sure about god, or the bible for that matter...it's been written too many times...but what i do know is that there is something far greater than ourselves...and i DO know that that little baby girl is truly loved and blessed! x j

James said...

Yes you are read and enjoyed. I have always felt a kindred spirit with you on many levels. This post is almost a summary of my own feelings. I am blessed with three daughters and two grandsons. I never thought I could feel the way I do about those boys.Well I'm starting to ramble on, but I just wanted to tell you how your thoughts were appreciated.

James said...

Don't forget to update "About Me" to reflect your latest title!

Odysseus Trunk said...

Nice words. A life well lived and well understood. Thanks for nudging me back in the direction I frequently deviate from.

Tavarua said...

True - Great words of wisdom and congratulations.

lovey said...

Simply beautiful! Love your heart!

lovey said...

simply beautiful! love your heart expressions! Sharon

Russ said...

Audwin, you hit the nail on the head. I am on the high side of forty, different stage in my life, looking at one going to college and another still in high school, but you put into words about simple living that I was thinking. Congrats on the new addition, and God Bless!

Russ said...

Audwin,you hit the nail on the head. I am on the high side of forty, different stage in my life, looking at one going to college and another still in high school, but you put into words about simple living that I was thinking. Congrats on the new addition, and God Bless!

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About Me

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I’m a Southern Boy, just 56 last November, I get around here and there, Central America, Africa, Red Bay. I’m a Father, Grandfather, Husband, Artist and general flunky of sorts. Live in a little historic town in an old building I remodeled. Just wanted to hear myself think I guess, talk about the need of simplification, show some art, express an interest or two, brag on my dogs and see where it goes. That’s it!, That’s the deal, Thanks